|Love & Sex|
|The Cool Chick Turned Needy Girlfriend: How To Get Back To Sanity|
Do you feel neglected by your boyfriend lately? Do you notice that you’re becoming more suspicious and demanding? Do you find yourself frequently checking your cell phone for any text message or call from your boyfriend? If your answer is YES to all or any of these questions, you may be having a serious attack of the “clingy, needy girlfriend syndrome”. What happened to the cool chick that was so self-confident and so sure that her boyfriend is into her?
At one point or another in a relationship, changes brought about by different factors happen – sometimes even without you realizing that it is happening. You may have various reasons for feeling clingy and needy – and some of them may well be valid and warranted; but you also know that this could be fatal to the relationship so you have to make the effort to tone it down, if you want to keep your man. Here are some tips that you may find useful as transformation techniques:
1. Claim your life back. You had a life that didn’t revolve around your boyfriend before you met him. Remember your friends and your hobbies? You were doing a lot of things that did not involve this guy before. Stay in touch and recapture the things that make you happily occupied. Those were probably the things that made you attractive to him in the beginning, so keep up with them. It’s a sure fire way to keep you in high spirits; a fun person to be with, making you more interesting to him; and you’ll be less prone to obsess on your relationship.
2. Remind yourself how amazing you are. Self affirmation doesn’t hurt. You’re attractive, clever and fun; weren’t these the qualities that got him attracted to you and started him dating you? Think how wonderful you are! It always works to boost your self-assurance to make you feel more secure and focused, whether you’re in a relationship or not.
3. Conquer those little “what if” demons. Stop distressing yourself and get rid of those “what if” questions every time you aren’t together. What if he meets someone who’s more beautiful? What if he “accidentally” bumps with his ex? There are so many “what ifs” and if you dwell on them you accomplish nothing but agitate yourself. When you feel the ugly little demons rearing their heads, remind yourself that they are pure conjectures; a guessing game that will get you nowhere and remember that “WHAT IS” is more important, then you can focus on the reality of your relationship.
4. Plan for activities together and arrange a schedule for them. A weekend date night-out perhaps? Maybe a monthly outing or movie; or something as simple as a regular evening call or text session. Arranging something that would fit in to both your schedules can provide a feeling of tangibility and a sense that the relationship is less nebulous. And it absolutely gives you both something to be excited about!
5. Let it out in the open. Talking about it at the appropriate moment may be your best move, ultimately. Telling him outright that the reason you’re acting clingy is because you don’t feel he’s treating you like you matter, can clear the air once and for all. He could just be unaware that he was making you feel insignificant; or (brace yourself!) or could be that the attraction is beginning to wane for him. Either way, the discussion can help you work out things for the better or if it’s the latter, allow you to get out of the relationship and move on.
Feeling clingy is not an incurable disease. You just need to face up to your fears and work it out to get back to sanity and your old ‘cool chick’ self.
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